Normal

Hello everyone!  I hope you all have been doing well in my sabbatical from blogging.  I needed to take some time for recovery.  Once I regained my strength I took some time to get back into the swing of things.  Well, sort of.  It is a start anyways. 

I am doing remarkably well.  Before surgery my Aunt kept telling me God was going to heal me.  She had the faith that would be the case.  I am deeply challenged by her faith and confidence in God’s answer to her prayers.  Truthfully, I was certain I was going to come out changed.  Most of my confidence rested on my Aunt’s faith. 

The day I went into surgery I had such peace.  It was as though God enveloped me into His tender care.  I was not fearful.  I was not fretting.  I was confident that if God brought me out of the surgery I would be as He desired.  In the same respect, if He took me home to be with Him I would be as He desired.   I sat in the chair in my pre-surgical room and through the storm clouds outside the window streams of sunlight flooded upon me.  “Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10 came to the forefront of my mind, followed quickly by Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

As I entered the surgical prep area I enjoyed looking around and seeing what everyone was doing.  Then I was out like a light.  I barely recall the feeling of my intubation tube being removed.  The next memory is waking up to dry heaves and the exploding pain in the back of my head.  The first coherent thought was, “Oh dear, what have I done.”   A moment later a saying came to mind, “Don’t question in the storm what was certain upon the shore.” 

Now several weeks out from my decompression I feel normal.  At least I think this is what normal must feel like.  I’m not confident because I don’t think I have ever experienced ‘normal’.  If this is normal, I LOVE it.  It was well worth the pain and agony to arrive at this place.

God is using that experience to help me with another trial that has completely overwhelmed my senses.  As much as I prefer to have the same deliverance I am sensing that God would have me to embrace this trial in the same way as the Chiari.  With complete abandon. 

The past several days God has elaborated on the verses He used the morning and recovery of my surgery.  He has brought me into a captivity of sorts.  It is He that will deliver me from what He has allowed, in His due time.    

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