I’ve been rediscovering God over the past year. He hasn’t changed, nor will He ever. I have, and I hope I always will. There is a stark difference between our need to change and grow as human beings, and God’s ability to stay the same. A needed difference. A blessed difference.
My otherwise never boring, absurdly atypical life took a very nasty turn when I had to make a very difficult choice on July 31, 2011. I’ll not get into what that choice was, suffice it to say it was one that I did all I could, within my power, to not have to make.
So what changed in me? What was the defining moment of change for me? It was a shocking realization that if I didn’t keep a boundary line drawn, quite solidly, I might add, I would no longer be able to stand firm on my convictions. It was time. I had done all I could, all that was left to do, was stand.
Not quite a year later, I was changed by the law. As I sat in a small room signing papers, it occurred to me that who I am now isn’t who I was a year ago. I’m much stronger. Healthier. Happier.
Yes, standing firm was exactly what I needed to do!
This change in me has caused many to question who I really am in Christ. Job’s friends are an ever present reminder that my many trials surely mean that I’m judged of God.
True friends, those who are not looking on the outward circumstances of my life, laugh with me, cry with me, exhort me and love me. They encourage me in my new identity. That of a single mother. They remind me that though I no longer have a MRS. attached to my name, I have value.
They have lived out agape love to me in a way I have never seen it before. When I was told no one could, they did! You see, I have a God who doesn’t look down upon me. He doesn’t send me scathing emails. He doesn’t ignore my pleas to Him. He doesn’t exhibit passive aggressive hatred towards me. Rather He reminds me of my value to Him.
He has a perfect plan for me. He died so I might live. He intercedes for me. His wings over shadow me. He hides me. He protects me. He heals my wounds. Oh, I could go on and on. Why, does He do all of these things for me? Quite simply, I am loved with an everlasting love!
He. Loves. Me.
He. AGAPES. Me.
You might not love me, and that’s OK. That doesn’t change who God is. You might even hate me, and that’s OK too. That still doesn’t change who God is.
I’m not a ‘formerly known as’ to God. To Him, I am His.
And I am not alone.
This post is dedicated to all my family and friends who have stepped in with compassion to help see me through a tremendous trial. I love you and I thank God for you!