I have been job
hunting scavenging for several months now, without a single response to my gazillions (read that as dozens) of applications, until yesterday. When I spotted the email from the HR department I excitedly clicked the link to read what could only be a request for an interview. Right?
After all, I’ve been going through some
rough patches trials. Ok, let’s be honest, no one would want my life right now. Who wants to recover from brain surgery, a divorce, and a back injury? While attending their first year of college, after 22 years of being out of school. Finally, seeing a glimmer of hope only to have a home break-in and two vehicles stolen within 2 1/2 weeks. Leaving them completely dependent upon everyone around them. Only to put a huge ginormous exclamation on it all by being unemployed and unemployable.
Come on. Admit it. You would run screaming from my life. Probably while telling me to keep looking up.
Hey, I don’t blame you. I’d run from my life too. Except, I’m
kinda totally stuck-like-glue to myself! I don’t dare stand outside in a thunderstorm lest I…well, lets just forget about that and move on, shall we?
Where were we? Oh yes, I was opening the letter from the potential employer that was going to give me an interview. Only it wasn’t a request to have this very-qualified-because-I-worked-for-my-husband-for-free-for-18-years-managed-a-household-of-ten woman come in for an interview. It was a letter of rejection. SIGH.
was AM discouraged majorly bummed! Who wouldn’t be?! But (you knew that was coming) there is something in my being that won’t let me give in to that pain of rejection. It says, “So what, Deb! Who cares what they think, you have God on your side. And when He is with you it doesn’t matter who or what is against you.”
Think about that with me for a minute. God is God! God is MY God! God IS MY God! MY God Who loves ME! Oh yeah, take that, enemies and thieves and naysayers and gossips! Do what you want! Say what you will! But remember you wil never separate me from the love of MY God.
My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad
day month year-plus-some, has no bearing on what God can, and will do, for me (and you).
He has drawn me close and held me in His loving arms as I’ve wept gut wrenching, bitter tears. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Not a single one of my tears are lost by Him. And, believe me, that’s amazing! Because, lately, I’ve shed gallons of them!
I don’t get it. I hate it. I want to run from it. I have had a pity party about it. I vented to my friends about it.
Then I accept it. I find a way to embrace it. I learn from it. I get up and keep moving forward. After all, I don’t have to have a job, or a car to get someplace with God.
He lifts my eyes to look upon what it is, or better said, who He is creating. What a work of art He must desire to create from my life, to make such an investment of care and craftsmanship.